So this is unemployment...

It's bloody hard work! Since the bank holiday weekend that marked the end of my old life, I actually haven't stopped. The first day of true leisure, when I had nothing work related in my diary, was this Friday. That is no longer the case as I now have a meeting that may lead to a bit of proper paid work if all goes well.

I've been so busy that I haven't even had a chance to sign on. Fortunately the money side of things isn't so much of an issue in the immediate term, but certainly by July we will be feeling the pinch. But it is on my to-do list.

I am a big believer that we make our own luck, and that good things happen to those that see the opportunities and take them. I'd like to think that my experience so far is proving this theory as, potentially I am looking at having projects to work on until the end of this year, on top of the workshops and youth theatre stuff I will be doing in the summer. All of these things are dependent on the success of a series of meetings, all of which will be taking place next week, so I should have a clearer picture of what the next six months at least will look like by the end of May. Quite how much of the exciting goodness will be paying the bills is unclear, but experience is a crucial currency and should open up further opportunities.

Tomorrow is the first night of the tour, and I have to say the nerves are already kicking in (this is unusual for me, as I tend not to get nervous much these days). Even though the show is tried and tested and we have, I think, improved it since then, I feel that there is so much more at stake now. Plus my own perception of our work has possibly become distorted, due in no small measure to the raging volatility of my self-confidence. But my ego and its idiosyncrasies warrant a whole post on their own. Suffice to say that there is a world of difference between working on something as an informal project and then taking that out into the professional field. The Big Question is "Are we good enough?" Unfortunately I don't think I'll be able to find an answer to that question for a few weeks yet.

So, for now, the best I dare hope is that tomorrow's show is not a complete disaster. I don;t think it will be, and I hope the rest of the cast share that view. I'd like to think they'd tell me if they didn't.

Wish me luck...